Release destructive emotions

 

The No Sweat, Low Key, Leave a Child Feeling Good Method of Discipline

I Love You So Big! Blog – Lynne Namka, © 2011-13

“Children need love even when they don’t deserve it!” – Anonymous parent (In truth, we all deserve love, even if we made a mistake.)

Business management experts, Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson in The One Minute Mother and The One Minute Father give a great parenting technique which is a take off from their business model of managing people. Their reprimand process helps YOU break into your mean-spirited anger and lengthy tirades. This one-minute approach puts a time limit on your own anger outburst and encourages your child to do better next time. It bypasses blame and punishment, which do not work to change behavior, and leaves your child thinking. Thinking about what he or she did wrong and how to correct it, instead of becoming angry! The One Minute Reprimand builds self-esteem in your child while you are correcting him. What a novel idea!

one minute reprimand, method of displine, parenting technique

The One Minute Reprimand holds you to a one-minute correction procedure and gives the child a compliment so that he does not tune out. Brilliant!

Limiting your anger by using this technique will help you break into the most breakdowns in parent/child relationships–parent deafness! Kids learn to shut out long lecturing parents! Shutting out what we do not want to hear is normal human behavior. The One Minute Reprimand holds you to a one-minute correction procedure and gives the child a compliment so that he does not tune out. Brilliant! Get one of these books immediately and commit this technique to memory!

The One-Minute Reprimand (My slightly modified version of the Blanchard and Johnson technique)

  1. Tell your child beforehand that you are going to let him know how he is to do in no uncertain terms.
  2. Reprimand your child immediately. Tell him specifically what he did wrong in one sentence.
  3. Tell him how disappointed, upset, sad, frustrated, angry you are.
  4. Stop and let it sink in. Allow a half moment of uncomfortable silence where he gets how you feel. If he starts to get defensive or angry, say, “Hold on. I’m not finished yet.”
  5. Reach out to your child physically in a friendly manner. Shake hands, pat him on the back, or touch him in a way that lets him know that you are on his side despite your upset feelings at his behavior.
  6. Remind him how much you value him, what a cool person he is, etc.
  7. Reaffirm that you think well of him, but not his behavior. (You area a great kid who messed up!)
  8. Remind him that you realize he will make a better choice next time.
  9. Let it go. No lectures. No more. Just stop. Realize when the reprimand is over, it’s over. End the correction with a positive! Change the subject. Give a smile, a hug or an acknowledgement. Leave the room with him scratching his head wondering where his formerly acting out parent had gone. End the talk with you believing in your child and his ability to make good choices. (Smiling, not moralizing.)

Get your own copy of The One Minute Mother and The One Minute Father Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. These small books are invaluable for your parenting library. They can be found online at most bookstores that feature used books at a small price.



 The Perfect Gift for Children in Your Life

anger management

 The Mad Family Get Their Mads Out 

Available in ebook or paperback


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