Release destructive emotions


Information on Children's Behavior: What the Research Says!

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. - © 2007 

Doomed to Succeed
Some self-destructive young people have difficulty with tolerating success which keeps them from making changes. The most common defenses identified were isolation, refusing to take responsibility for their actions, resistance to input from adults and idealization of negative role models.

Some Aggression Causes High Self-Esteem-Well, Not Really
Incarcerated adolescents showed an actual boost of self-esteem after engaging in aggressive behavior against peers and authorities! They used aggressive behavior to offset the feelings of shame inside. Shame and excessive pride in acting tough are part of the dynamics, which help keep adolescents engaging in gang and other violent behaviors. There may be a release of endorphins-those ‘feel good’ brain chemicals-which adds to feeling good. Of course, the feeling good about hurting others is not true self-esteem-it is a false self-esteem of feeling momentarily good while feeling worse deep within. The youngster becomes defensive so that he cannot acknowledge the bad feelings inside.

Decline of Children’s Positive Values with Age
Some children’s positive values start to erode as they grow older. A recent poll showed a significant percentage of children admitted to cheating on a test or stealing around age eleven or twelve. This decrease in morality is possibly due to negative peer influences and seeing other children get away with misbehavior.

Fear of the Big D-Divorce
One of the biggest weights on children is family fighting and the fear of divorce. Marital conflict is on of the biggest stressors on children. This topic is so important that the Journal of Family Psychology devoted an entire issue to the effects of family discord on young people. (Vol. 8, June, l994)

Moving Around and Changing Schools Hurt Children
Children whose parents relocate often tend to have more behavior problems, according to a new study. I’ve often told clients that their parents’ moving often had an effect on their personality as they learned not to make deep friends because they feared that they would be taken away with the next move. Moving often is especially hard on shy children who are slow to make new friends. A recent study of 3,285 children showed that children who changed schools the most had more behavioral problems.

Continued awareness of these issues and others that affect children's social development is the key to helping young people progress in a positive manner.

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. is a happy psychologist, mom, grandmother, author of anger release books and founder of Talk, Trust & Feel Therapeutics. Her is mission is to promote peace in the world by teaching people positive communication skills. Helpful information and techniques can be found at and Copyright © 2007 Lynne Namka, Ed.D. All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint this article on your website without altercation if you include this entire copyright statement and leave the hyperlinks live and in place.


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